Understanding The Love Language

Have you ever had one of these thoughts?

“She doesn’t think I’m romantic, no matter what I do. I don’t know how to get to her. She doesn’t even get me.”


“He doesn’t know what I like. He’s nice but he doesn’t get me. He’s trying too hard. I don’t even know what it is I want, but I will know when I see it.”

Lots of relationships circle around this address. It’s all due to lack of understanding on one simple but often missed aspect of interpersonal relationships. It is called Love Language.

This is what makes romance seem absence in a relationship, not understanding each other’s love language. Everyone has their own love language. It works every time. Do you know yours or that of your spouse?

Let’s Narrow it Down.


Did you know that more Africans consider Romantic Love as the most important factor for choosing a marriage partner? Interesting? Definitely not the popular idea about Africans and romance. Results from a recent survey carried out by Qunuby Personal Connections, show that modern African singles prefer to choose their partners based on ‘romantic love’, which is emotional intimacy for marriage compatibility. This exceeded factors such as level of education, financial security, and equality.


This information kind of puts a question mark on a long-held notion that romance wasn’t much of a thing to older generations of Africans. Perhaps clearly defined expressions were what was lacking, or could it just be a generational difference in the love vocabulary? For what it’s worth we now know this; the modern African single would want to be loved on clear terms. So this would mean that as a single, you might want to step up your game in understanding love languages.


Gary Chapman’s book, “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate”, lists five common ways romantic love is expressed, and he calls them;

The Five Love Languages. This talks about Physical Affection, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Gifts.


It is believed that among these five, every individual has two ways by which they yearn for love to be expressed towards them. Understanding your own love language, and then learning that of your partner would go a long way in preventing the problems that come with poor communication in a relationship.

So all you romantics, let’s conclude this by starting from here. What’s the key to your heart? What is your love language?

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